Mamma Mia…

So…it’s kind of been a while, hasn’t it?

My life has been extremely stressful of late. Not due to my own happenings but because my Mum’s partner broke up with her about a month ago and Mum hasn’t been taking it very well.

She came to stay with me and Dad for about 3 weeks which was by no means easy. It’s not easy to see you Mum cry, threaten to kill herself and rely on you to keep her sane.

I have to concentrate on my studies on top of all this and it is just so damn hard. I just don’t even know what to do, to be honest. I’ve talked to my counsellor and she’s telling me to take a step back and stop acting like her mum but if I did, I would feel like I would be abandoning her.

I’ve been giving Mum a lot of tools to help her move forward and she has been taking them onboard but it’s like I have to constantly remind her what it is that I told her last.

What irks me is that they have a son together and her ex doesn’t even seem to care. It’s sick.

I am currently sitting on Mum’s couch because a few months ago I had already organised to see her – not expecting to see her prior to this. All I’ve been witnessing is her ex and herself fighting back and forth. I have lost all respect for her ex, K. She broke up with her a month after her mum died, and then she proceeds to treat her like shit.

Thankfully, I’m sitting with her doggy, Harry, and he is making me happy to be here…sort of.

Suffice it to say I have been struggling with my anxiety during this period but it could be so much worse, I guess.

 My Easter break ends this week and I’m back to regular lectures. Uni is the only thing keeping me going at the moment. Well, uni, my Dad and, my friends. I don’t know what I would do without them.

On a positive note, I have been learning a lot from this experience and it just goes to show how much I have learnt from my own experiences and I am only 22! Mum suffers from major depression which doesn’t help her situation but I think the fact that she is receiving advice from someone who has overcome their own depression makes it easier for her to take advice from me.

Hopefully the next time I update, I have something happier to talk about. I’m very sick of all this change. I need some stability. Just for a little while.

xxx