Monthly Archives: January 2012
Thank you all so much for the condolences on my Nan’s passing. I’ve come to terms with it now and feel comforted that she is now looking down on me all the time which is something she couldn’t do while she was alive.
Soon after finding out about her passing, I booked a plane ticket to go and visit my Mum up north because I knew she would be struggling to cope while waiting for her flight the coming Saturday. My Mum also suffers from depression and anxiety so I thought it would be best for me to go because I understand her emotions. Strangely, those few days I spent with my Mum were so much fun, I’m so glad that I went! We talked about our feelings, played Wii sports (I rock at tennis, just sayin’), watched TV together and we had cuddles as mummy and daughter should 🙂 Her partner told me that me visiting meant so much to my Mum and it really helped her. It just makes me so happy that I managed to make a difference.
When my Mum left on the plane, her partner and I were trying so hard not to cry just so that we could make it easier for Mum because it was hard enough knowing that she was going to be in transit for 28 hours. Mum messaged me from Dubai airport saying that my visit was just what she needed and that she loved me very much. I love my Mummy 🙂
I also wanted to slide in the fact that after Mum left, her partner and I went to McDonald’s and ordered a McChicken combo. Can I just say how amazingly awesome that was? I thoroughly enjoyed it yet it did nothing for my hunger so I had a carrot. Funnily enough the carrot did more for my satiety than the burger, fries and coke. Just a random piece of information there.
When I arrived home on Sunday evening, I came home to my BRAND NEW BED! To put it into perspective for you, my bed is older than I am. No wonder I’ve been having back and joint issues! I accidentally slept in this morning because it was just so comfy! Oops.
On another note, I went to the doctors today in order to get a repeat prescription for my iron tablets and anxiety pills. While I was there, we discussed my iron levels and more about my pill options. I talked about my past with the pill here which makes me very hesitant to try the pill again. The doc did offer to put me on a low dose oestrogen pill which was great, HOWEVER, it meant forking out $142 for just a 3 month supply which I could definitely not afford so I decided not to take it. I told her this today and she said she can try putting me on Mercilon which is also a low dose oestrogen pill but it usually not offered to patients due to higher risk of blood clots. Fun times for me. I’m going to give it a try and if it makes me pukey like the last one then I’m not going to even bother with the pill.
She then asked about my iron levels and was wondering that if I don’t get my period, then where is all my iron going? I’ve been suffering from low iron lately even though I’m taking high dose iron pills (which goes to show you can’t solely rely on a pill for nutrients). My hair has been falling out and I’ve been struggling to stay awake at work. My doctor wants to get to the bottom of this because I should have fine iron levels. She was throwing conditions like coeliacs disease up in the air which got me really frightened. I know wheat and I aren’t best buds (due to the fructans in wheat) but I didn’t think it would be gluten. Surely, gluten intolerance would make me very ill…not just tired. Oh well, I guess this means more blood tests. Yay? Oh, and due to recent events (figuring out what foods I can and can’t eat, dealing with anxiety, Nan’s passing) I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight since July. I’m not worried about this because I know that when everything is sorted, I will gain it back very easily but I’m just annoyed, ya know? I tried so hard to gain it and I went through a phase where I was unhappy with my thighs and what not but now that it’s gone I actually miss it. Funny that.
Questions: Have you ever been on the Mercilon contraceptive pill before?
When was the last time you had McDonald’s??? 😉
This isn’t the jolly post that I was hoping to right at 10 o’clock at night but if you’ve been following me on Twitter, you’ll know that my Nan back in England has been in hospital for the past week or so. Unfortunately today, I received a text message from my Mum saying that Nan has slipped into a coma and they don’t think that she will have long to live. Of course, I had to be at work when she sent me this and I started to weep. Knowing that she was unconscious and unable to hear what was going on around her was mortifying to me – even worse than death, in my opinion. At this point, I knew I couldn’t stay at work so I texted a good friend who dropped what she was doing to come and see me. I left work and I received a good dose of retail therapy and then I checked my phone to see that I had a missed call. Confused, I texted my Brother to ask if he had called. A few minutes later, my phone rang again. This time I answered it and my greatest fear was realised…
Nan didn’t make it.
My friend rubbed my arm and it was hard for me not to cry at the weakness of my Brother’s voice over the phone. It’s so hard to be on the other side of the world when a loved one is unwell. You just want to be there with them and hold their hand.
Knowing that she has passed is incredibly sad but it’s a relief at the same time. For a long time, I’ve sensed that she hasn’t had much longer to live. She hadn’t developed anything like dementia, luckily, but she found it very difficult to get around without assistance. But knowing that she has been taken from us makes me angry because she still had her “marbles”, so to speak. She hadn’t forgotten who we were, nor did we have to shout at her to make sure that she could hear us. I feel a mixture of sadness and anger towards her passing.
My Grandfather died when I was 2 or 3 so I don’t remember much about him but my Nan has done well to live with the hole in her heart for such a long time.
I feel so relieved that I was able to see her last year while I was away in England. We only spent a few hours with her but those few hours will always be remembered.
She may not still be here with us but she is still living in my heart and she will forever be there…living with me.
Nan, I will never forget you. I will never forget your kindness and your strength. I will always appreciate the gifts you have always given me and the letters we used to write to each other. You made me feel so special. I wish I got to know more about you when I still had the chance. You are an amazing woman to have adopted two children in need of a mother and a home and to also accept my Mother for who she really is is quite remarkable. You’ve always accepted and loved her no matter what her sexuality. Thank you for putting up with the countless times that we watched Mary Poppins in your living room. Thank you for all the money you’ve sent me over the years. I put it to good use, I promise. Thank you for never forgetting my birthday and always sending a card, no matter how difficult it was for you to hold a pen. Thank you for always acknowledging my academic achievements and telling me how proud you are of me.
There are so many things I want to thank you for. But most importantly, thank you for always loving me. Thank you for being such a wonderful woman and thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for everything. I just…thank you.
I’m sorry that I can’t be there to say goodbye but I sent you a letter and some photos that I hope you’ll enjoy.
I love you so much and I’m sure you’re happy to be with Grandad once again. Give my love to him and thank him for watching over me for all this time. I will miss you so much. So much that words can’t even describe how much I’m going to miss you.
So much love,
As promised, I have a quick and easy recipe for you that will tantalise those tastebuds and satisfy that tum-tummily of yours.
Katy Pies Deconstructed Lemon “Cheesecake”
You will need:
- Plain unsweetened yoghurt
- Lemon curd
- Vanilla cookies or any cookie of your choice
Put desired amount of yoghurt into a bowl and mix with a tablespoon or so of lemon curd. Crumble over your desired amount of cookies. That’s it! Devour and lick the bowl.
Bonjour, mes amis! I hope that you’ve all had a wonderful week! My week has involved a few ups and downs.
Not only did I pull out most of my eyelashes in my right eye due to my deadly eyelash curler (yes, it really happened and before you ask, yes it really was painful!), but my Nan is also sick and in hospital and we aren’t sure if she’s going to make it through. She’s been in and out of hospital for years but this time we just aren’t sure. I’m hoping she has at least another two years left in her so that I can visit her for one last time but her living in England while I live down the bottom of the world in New Zealand makes things very difficult. Please keep her in your thoughts 🙂
Onto a more foodie-related subject now…
These past few weeks I have been having trouble figuring out how much I am supposed to be eating. Some might think of this as an easy task. “Why don’t you just eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full?” they say. Yes, this is grand advice but it’s not for those who aren’t familiar with their body’s signals. I do feel hunger and I do feel fullness but even today around lunch time, I couldn’t distinguish between hunger and tiredness. Did I need a nap or was I tired because I was hungry? I waited a bit and alas, it was actually hunger. I knew this because I started to shake which is a sure sign that I was hungry. This happens the other way around as well. Sometimes I’m full but can’t tell whether I’m full because I’ve eaten so many vegetables or if I’m legitimately full!
It’s especially bad during the week when I’m at work. I eat breakfast before I leave to catch my bus and then after an hour or so of being at work I am absolutely starving. I have a snack of cookies that I pack but that never seems to do anything for my hunger. Lunch time rolls round and I hoover it down. Then snack time rolls around and I eat whatever I pack but it never seems to be enough. I get home and dig into my chocolate stash because I just need that sugar fix. I am taking this as a sign that I’m either a) not eating enough, b) not eating enough protein or c) all of the above.
So I am going to start by overhauling my breakfast. Typically on a work day, I go for a quick bowl of oats. I stick with the normal 1 serving but clearly this just isn’t cutting it for me. I’ve upped the ante by having 1 and a half servings of oats which tends to help keep the hunger at bay for just that little bit longer. These days I just make oats with a cup of soy milk, add blueberries and brown sugar and eat that before I run out the door. I went through a huge nut butter phase last year where I would add nuts and nut butter to my oats everyday but now I never crave anything nutty in the mornings which could be why my breakfasts aren’t holding me over as well as I would like them to.
Next is my morning snack. I tend to just grab a handful of gluten free cookies that I keep in the pantries because I love dunking them in my morning tea. However, these contain no protein whatsoever which explains why I’m wishing I had the whole box with me once I’ve finished my last one. Does anyone have any high protein cookie recipes that don’t involve protein powder? I’m not into the whole protein powder thing. I think that once I have my morning meals sorted that they will keep me going till my next meals but at the moment, they are lacking somewhat.
I’m sorry if I bored you but writing it down helps me to keep everything in order and it would be great to get some feed back on this 🙂
Now enough with the boring stuff. I will show you what I’ve been eating of late for dinner and desserts.
This might an example of where my issue with too many veggies comes into play:
Questions: Do you have trouble knowing how much food your body needs?
Do you have any high-protein protein powderless cookie recipes??
Love to you all! ❤