What I learnt Whilst Watching The Kardashians
Thank you all so much for your kindness and understanding on my last post. There is a part of me that feels that I need to to keep these issues deep down inside of me because I should come across as strong and confident. Why? I don’t know. If you met me on the street you probably wouldn’t think that I had an eating disorder or had any mental issues whatsoever. I am quite a bubbly person and can appear confident even though I am shaking in my little space boots. So again, thank you 🙂
This weekend has been such a 180 compared to last weekend in terms of weather! Last weekend it was snowing and this weekend the sun is out and it’s 12 degrees Celsius! Can I get a woop woop? No? Fine.
I spent a lot of my Saturday watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians because that’s how I roll. Seriously, if you tell me that you do not like that show I am not going to believe you. However there was an episode that I saw that really got to me. It was the one where Kourtney is desperate to get into shape for a Life & Style shoot because she’s not completely back to her pre-baby bod yet. She was doing this shoot in order to show Mums out there that is is possible to get back into shape after having a baby. So in order to get back to optimum shape, she decided that she was going to take time off of work to workout 2 times a day and concentrate on her eating habits. At one point, Kourtney got into a fight with her boyfriend, Scott, because she wanted to go to the gym but Scott needed to work and she had intended on him looking after baby Mason while she was at the gym. Then she said, “You think that this meeting you have is more important than me going to the gym for my Life & Style shoot?!” Really? Really?! She then went to the gym and Scott cancelled his meeting. A day or two later, Khloe received a phone call saying that Kourtney had collapsed whilst running on the beach in the morning. When Khloe arrived, Kourtney was hooked up to an IV and was looking like death. She admitted that she hadn’t eaten anything that morning. In fact, she had barely eaten anything for the last few days.
Why am I telling you this?
Firstly, her approach was unrealistic. I can’t even begin to imagine the pressure she was under in order to have a bangin’ post-baby bod for a photo shoot. But her intention was to show woman that they can get back into shape after having a baby. What message would she be giving if she said that in order to get back to her old body, she hardly ate anything and worked out twice a day and ended up passing out due to supreme exhaustion?
I know I sound like I’m getting at her here but the only reason I am is because this is what I used to be like. I can completely relate and it just pisses me off that my priorities were once as fucked up as that. I used to skip any social occasion so that I could destroy my body exercise-wise. I would eat a piece of fruit here, a bowl of that there to get me through these workouts and for what? What was I trying to achieve? Was I trying to please anyone but myself? Was I even pleasing myself at all? Not really. What is wrong with just being and looking like a “normal” person? Why do we have to have muscles bulging from our arms or a flat stomach? I enjoy lifting weights in order to feel strong but there is no way in hell that I would ever go back to the gym to achieve a look that I know I would not be able to sustain in the long run. That’s just me. I have an obsessive nature and so when I commit myself to something, I will become completely obsessed. Therefore, no gym for me. No, no, no. I have way too many awful memories of running like a mouse in spinning wheel to ever want to go back.
I tried for so long to look like so many different people who I completely idolised. Jessica Alba was most certainly one of them. I would stare at pictures of her and wish for a body like that. I would work out according to how websites said she did. I would eat how she ate. I would do everything that someone else did, but why? Was I hoping that I was going to spontaneously turn into them? Why did I fight so hard to change my looks? Whatever happened to becoming the best version of me that I could be? Why do I have to look like somebody else? Well…
Apparently, I thought that if I looked different, I would love myself or at least accept myself. And maybe others would like me more. These days I realise that this body is my only body. It takes me from A to B when I need it to. It keeps me warm and lets me know when there is something is wrong. It has stood strong after all of these years that I have abused it and it still wants to function even though there are many reasons as to why it shouldn’t. For that I am eternally grateful.
What I am trying to say is that we should not abuse bodies in order to please anyone. We need to be the best versions of us that we can be. Our bodies will look the way that they want to in order for them to function at their best. No matter how hard you wished for something else, this is all you’ve got. Work with it. Roll with it. Krump with it if you’re that way inclined. (I know I am.) Because the fact of the matter is this: You are you. You are the only you and there is only one chance in this world to be you. Beautiful you. Strong you. Brave you. No matter what you look like there is someone that will always love you for you. Your smile, your love, your personality. Not your legs or your abs or the size of biceps. And hopefully there will come a day where you can see that no one actually gives a shit about your weight, the food you eat or whether or not you exercise. All they give a shit about is YOU.
Have you seen that episode? What did you think?
Do you have any thoughts on this subject?